Clones in movies and TV are always crazy and possessed. Remember when Captain Kirk’s clone tried to kill off the Enterprise? And who could figure out The Matrix? They had clones too, and they were all up to no good.
Women used to get their hair done at the beauty parlor. Then one day, somebody came up with an idea, “If we offer a selection of international teas while customers wait, we can raise our price. And if we play relaxing New Age music and burn incense, we can charge even more.”
Over forty years ago, I met my wife Liz. Ever the romanticist, I asked her out to play ping pong. Having grown up in British Guyana, she immediately corrected me. It’s “table tennis, not ping pong!”
I’ve gone to a lot of funerals recently. In each case, the deceased just laid there, unsmiling, conveying the impression there were places they’d much rather be.
It seems like yesterday I heard the word “blog” for the first time. I thought they were saying “blob.
Most men believe the following:
(1) We are God’s gift to womankind, especially when preening in front of the bathroom mirror in our underwear, even if it’s while wearing dark support stockings, the kind Ed McMahon wore when he crossed his legs on The Tonight Show
Smokers get a bad rap. Most people think smokers “have a filthy habit, drain our health care system, and deserve to die—as long as it’s a hundred yards from the hospital entrance.”
How come you’ve got so many coat hangers? Chances are you’ve never pondered such a weighty question. But think about it, has your wife ever said, “Please go to the store and pick up some milk, bread, and coat hangers?”
My neighbors have always asked me, “Jerry, how do you keep your lawn, garden, and landscaping so immaculate? It’s so green and lush!”
Ha! Ha! I’m lying. My neighbors have never said that.
After you pick yourself up off the floor because you fell asleep whilst reading it, you grab another book, this one called Forbidden Loins. You flip it open.
